poetry

The writhing larvae of self-doubt bore their way into my brain.
My insecurities metamorphosize and take flight,
leaving a trail of waste in their wake.
I crave reassurance and it shames me,

(a bit incohesive ... but it's straight "off top")

never been good at chemistry
but i understand this ...
solutes and solvents
you're the sugar to my water
or perhaps i am yours to mine

Today I let go ...

I surrendered my pain beneath a downpour in the ebony of the moonlight

Let it envelop the darkness of unforgiven trespasses

As shoulders hunched and body wracked

For so long
I heard it ...

Kornika,
You are worthless
You are not good enough
You will never be anything
You are nobody

his pain
hurts me
i want to wrap
  i
     n 
        s
myself  i
           d
        e
his mind
in order that i may
stand
         under
what hurts him so
the pain
be
     hind
his mahogany eyes
gets
d e t c e l f e
(r)
e f l e c t e d
in my own
but he cannot speak
it seems

My body betrays me
In it lies the remembrances
Of a child it once borne
And then bore

But lost forever
Not to death
But to life
Without me

Apart from me
In a better place
Just not with me
Variables

They got the best of me
Wrong situations
Inappropriate circumstances
But I don't believe in my right

So I chose the hardest thing
And now I live with it daily
Thinking that I have failed
Not as a person

But worse
Unbearable grief
Accepting the best for you
Was the worst for me

At times I'm afraid of success
For fear it will be seen
As in spite of you