An ordinary woman on an extraordinary journey to get closer to God through getting to know Jesus.

untitled (when we first met)

when we first met,
     i was determined not to fall ...
        look at me now:
          i've lost control--
                of feelings

Journal of Goodbye

I will never forget how I feel at this moment
I'm not quite sure that I'm still alive
I am supposed to be holding you forever
… Protecting you
Yet, I know in so many ways
I am protecting you…
From a life where you cannot be offered the best
And you my child deserve the very best.

I feel empty
Empty womb
Empty heart
Empty arms.

Untitled (The Emptiness)

The emptiness of my womb
Presses against my heart
My breasts overflow with milk
My child is lost to me
Yet he is trapped within me
Held by my body's memory
How do I go on?
I see him in my dreams
Even when I am awake
They say time will ease the pain
I am still waiting for solace
I do find a little peace
Knowing he is beyond the reaches
Of my cruel world

My Body Betrays Me

My body betrays me
In it lies the remembrances
Of a child it once borne
And then bore

But lost forever
Not to death
But to life
Without me

Apart from me
In a better place
Just not with me

They got the best of me
Wrong situations
Inappropriate circumstances
But I don't believe in my right

So I chose the hardest thing
And now I live with it daily


finely tuned
perfectly oiled
equals precisely right
like a hand in glove
searing moisture
feels just right
never been one for kisses
but ...
maybe i've been kissing wrong
like you've been "something" wrong
and instead it's someone
that one
you just might be
simple as that
nothing like it
i get so lost
in the 33
the number
of precision

Untitled (I Know)

I know I haven't called
or even taken the time to write
and it seems the interest has died
but that is not the case.

I still hold you very high in my thoughts
and you hold a special place in my heart
in spite of all of this.

I just haven't made much effort
because it seems little comes
from your way.

I just get tired of putting everything out there,

Destroy & Rebuild

(October 25, 2012)

Occasionally we must take stock of our lives and reassess things. Today is a day like that for me. In stocking and assessing, I've decided to finally make some moves on doing what has been on my mind to do for awhile.

What is that, you ask?

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